Hopeless

I’m lost. I feel like I don’t know which direction I should be heading to.

I’m jealous of the people moving around me. Seems like they’re gone in an instant, moving farther to somewhere I will not be able to reach….

And so, I stay still…

PaulineBallet_JulienMauve-HopelessRomantic-12

I can hear my own heartbeats.

My ears can hear my soul screaming but only stillness surrounds my body.

It feels like I’m losing my opportunity to move, people are taking up all spaces and I have nowhere left to step on.

Is this it?

Will this be the end of me?

I have not yet died but I remain motionless…I am afraid.

These past few days, the gloomy weather is getting to me. I feel like I’m trapped in someone else’s plans, stuck at a page where I have no power to turn over a new leaf and continue my life story. I have a dream, but it’s becoming blurry, less realistic and more improbable to accomplish and achieve.

I’ve been through a lot the past few months, and the days are getting longer, the time I have to hang in there becomes burdensome. The nights are getting colder and no warmth is there to provide me with tenderness and encouragement.

Sometimes life gets too heavy, it becomes a burden for the living. But yet again, no matter how heavy a burden it is, we continue to choose to live.

Maybe that’s what I need. Be empowered by the living, the moving people around me.

Turn the jealousy into hope that will encourage me to take that step.

Turn the frightening heartbeats to a dance that will make me move.

Lust for life, hunger for change.

I hope I will find the courage to continue my very own struggle and still come out of it as the victor… with a smile on my face and a heart full of love and faith.

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One thought on “Hopeless

  1. all the time i used to read smaller posts which as well clear their motive, and that
    is also happening with this piece of writung which I am reading at
    this time.

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