All is fair in love and war.
What is fair really? If you go check in the dictionary, it means reasonable. When there is reasonableness, there are standards to be followed. There might not be specifics as to standards but humans, even in the darkness, develop a sense of tolerance to each other. There are lines set that shouldn’t be crossed, else, they lose their… well… reasonableness.:) I don’t think hurting other people for the sake of your own happiness is fair. Happiness is determined not by circumstances but by disposition.
“Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life on which chance has placed us, but is always the result of a good conscience, good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits.” -TJ
This phrase for me defeats the very purpose of destiny.
If love was really meant for you, would God not have given him or her to you at a time you and he were both available?
If that person was the one, then there would not have been any need to hurt other people. Destiny needs three conditions: the right time, the right place and the right person.
“Happiness is like a butterfly which, when pursued, is always beyond our grasp, but, if you will sit down quietly, may alight upon you.” -Nathaniel Hawthorne
The basic notion of this phrase (from my experience and opinions of some people I know) is that your adversary has no reason to abide by to your moral standards. This phrase is only used by people who are not afraid to hurt others. Reasonableness is recognizing your limitations and judging your actions based on those limitations. It is recognizing the fact that there are some constants and variables in life.
Fairness is not an excuse to dismiss what is proper.
It is because we want propriety that we hold fairness in such high esteem.
I believe that today, there is a misguided notion that love is likened to what historically perceived as acceptable behavior in war, due to deception treachery and all fraudulent actions that may bring them victory. Most people do not primarily and immediately conform themselves to this phrase. The minute you use this phrase… is the moment you know you are fooling yourself with the need to justify your deeds.
In my opinion…
There is no greater love than having the freedom to love that person with all your heart and with all your soul.
There is no greater peace than one which has been resolved through an understanding.
So let the words of the phrase remain, but let us give an entirely different meaning to what “fair” means.
If I do fall in love again, I would want it to be beautiful and pure… fair in its truest essence.