I decided to post this because I feel like I’ve learned something from it… This was a diary rant I made a year ago… if you don’t feel like reading my rants please move along… but if you decide to read this please be kind on your judgment and I hope you get my point.:)
After more than 20 years, it’s just now that I’ve finally managed to learn that talking does clear misunderstandings. Maybe that’s why I’ve had failed relationships. I choked everytime I wanted to tell people it wasn’t alright for me… or I could no longer tell them that maybe they really didn’t knew me at all. I just keep everything bottled up inside. It might also be the reason why every time I start a new chapter of my life, I fail to keep the best friend I thought I will always have… some just disappear into nothingness. But time do changes things, and now I have a staple set of friends and a really good best friend I can rely on. The heart sure remains connected if you keep that line open.
Why am I discussing this? Some days ago a friend of mine decided to fool around since she didn’t want a certain person hanging out with her any longer… I was asked to go along with whatever excuses she made to keep that person from going out with us. It was just plain awkward, and everytime that person would ask where will we be hanging out… my friend always uses me as an excuse (either I didn’t want to go or we’ll be hanging out at a place of my choice). I was always the one to blame since I was the cushion of protection to my friend. People were made to believe it was me who didn’t want that person around. I could no longer take it as the other person never did anything wrong to me and neither to my friend. Oh gosh! How petty is this?? I can’t even believe this kind of things happen even after highschool. Oh the drama!><
When you think that you could no longer ignore the fact that you believe something is wrong and the closest people to you are placed in the middle of the battlefield of either your own or another’s war, it’s time to push things to stability and correct what has been tipping off the balance. Sometimes you just have to tell that person to stop even though you know it might hurt your friendship. It’s better to keep a real friendship rather than a superficial one where you snicker behind their backs because you can’t take what they’re doing and you very well know you can tell them… in the kindliest way possible, to stop.
Have you ever tried telling someone that he or she has a bad personality or made a really bad choice? They become instantly defensive against you. They accidentally push the eject button on you and you struggle to hold on to your seat or a lifeline that will keep you in their world if you choose to stay with them. It takes a real strong person to hold on to that friendship, but most of the times, most strong people have moments of weaknesses and it’s not their fault. So at times, you just let that person drift away from you. In times of weaknesses, if a friend chooses to see you let go, rather than give a hand or understand you, then maybe they were just a passer-by in your life. Friendship isn’t a one way street.
I just no longer wanted to be a part of it… so I waltzed up to her… I mean… I facebook messaged her (I got no balls -_- excuse me for that!><) and said I can no longer make excuses for her… Not only am I being thought wrongly, but our friends were also put in the middle of whatever is going on between them. Good thing she understood and agreed to put me out of my misery. What do you think? I’m not sure if I did wrong or I did right… I just thank God I’m glad to keep both people in my lives.
Keep that line open… so simple but very hard to follow.